What Is Love Addiction? Signs, Symptoms, Causes, & Treatment

You’ve likely encountered someone who has dealt with drug, alcohol, pornography, shopping, or gambling addiction — addictions that are widely recognized and discussed. But what about those addictions that are less commonly known?

Take love addiction, for example. You might wonder, What is love addiction? Also referred to as pathological love or affective dependence, love addiction is a behavioral condition characterized by an overwhelming and compulsive need for romantic relationships or emotional attachment.

Love addicts often engage in short, intense romantic relationships, seeking to fill a deep emotional void with another person. This behavior is typically rooted in past trauma, low self-esteem, or unresolved childhood issues. The consequences of love addiction can severely impact your well-being.

Although love addiction is not an official clinical diagnosis, it exhibits certain identifiable behavioral patterns. By recognizing the signs of love addiction and understanding its underlying causes and potential risks, you can take proactive measures to safeguard yourself and seek support.

What Is Love Addiction?

Love addiction does not have a universally accepted definition; however, experts agree on some key characteristics.

A Health Psychology Research article explains that love addiction manifests as an intense need for another person, whom the individual views as essential to their life, often resulting in a dysfunctional relationship marked by constant fear of abandonment.

Pia Mellody, Meadows Senior Fellow and author of Facing Love Addiction, defines love addiction as “a condition in which individuals … are attracted to somebody who will neglect the relationship.” Forbes emphasizes the love addict’s obsession with love and compulsive pursuit of the “falling in love” experience.

These descriptions all touch on a common theme — unmet needs and unhealthy attachment styles. If this resonates with you, consider the following signs of love addiction:

• Preoccupation with finding love or romantic partners to the detriment of other aspects of your life
• A pattern of staying in short-lived, unhealthy, or toxic relationships
• Seeking validation through relationships
• Feeling incomplete or unfulfilled without a romantic partner
• Difficulty being alone or experiencing separation anxiety in the absence of a relationship
• Fear of abandonment
• Prioritizing your partner’s needs at the expense of self-care

This list is not exhaustive, and symptoms can vary from person to person. Those who identify with the signs of love addiction may also question the underlying causes of their behavior. The answer is multifaceted, as love addiction can stem from various factors such as brain chemistry, childhood trauma, low self-esteem, or cultural and social influences.

What Causes Love Addiction?

Love addiction has a number of possible causes, each unique to the individual. One common myth about love addiction is that it affects people who are overly sensitive or who read too many romance novels. This couldn’t be further from the truth.

Research suggests that brain chemistry may play a role. One such study in Philosophy, Psychiatry, & Psychology asserts that behavioral, neurochemical, and neuroimaging evidence supports the idea that love can be an addiction, much like chronic drug-seeking behavior is classified as an addiction.

Both love addiction and substance addiction stimulate the brain’s reward system, triggering the release of “feel-good” chemicals like dopamine. If you have a genetic predisposition to addictive behaviors due to family history or other mental health problems, you may be more susceptible to love addiction.

Early attachment issues, often stemming from childhood trauma, can also significantly contribute to the development of love addiction. Children who experience neglect, inconsistent caregiving, or emotionally unavailable caregivers may develop insecure attachments, leaving them with unresolved emotional wounds.

Such early experiences foster deep insecurity, diminished self-esteem, and a desperate need for love and validation. As adults, these individuals often seek out romantic relationships to fill this emotional void and soothe feelings of inadequacy or fear of abandonment.

Social and cultural standards can also influence love addiction. Society glorifies romance, as seen in modern movies, television, and social media. Romantic relationships are portrayed as ideal, and even young girls are encouraged to dream of finding “true love.”

But love addiction is not exclusive to women. A research paper published in the Journal of Affective Disorders Reports reveals that being male is a predictor of increased vulnerability to love addiction. In fact, the study found that men were more likely to exhibit pathological love behaviors than women, due to a link between insecure attachment styles and the male gender.

Impact of Love Addiction

If left untreated, love addiction can negatively impact your emotional and psychological well-being. The risks of love addiction include emotional instability, mental health concerns, relationship problems, and lack of personal growth, among others.

Those trapped in a cycle of love addiction experience a constant emotional roller-coaster, influenced by the status of their relationship. When things are going well, emotions soar, but when difficulties arise, they begin to spiral.

Like substance withdrawal, people with love addiction suffer from withdrawal symptoms when a relationship ends. These symptoms include anxiety, depression, and isolation.

Furthermore, Forbes points out that love addiction overrides your sense of self, not only leading to feelings of resentment, anger, and frustration but also fueling codependency. Love addicts become so reliant on others for validation and fulfillment that they neglect their own personal development.

Fortunately, treatment for love addiction is available. Proven therapeutic approaches, treat the root cause of love addiction and not just its symptoms. Techniques like Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT) help patients identify the negative thinking around their behavior, equipping them with productive coping strategies.

Group Therapy brings people together to share their experiences, learn from others, and develop new perspectives on their challenges. Internal Family Systems (IFS) encourages you to explore and connect with different parts of yourself that carry various emotions, memories, or experiences that might be in conflict.

Specialized programs, like the Love Addiction workshop offered by Rio Retreat Center at The Meadows, are another great option. Courses like these can help those struggling with love addiction overcome the underlying fear of abandonment that is driving the obsessive relationship.

Help for Love Addiction

If you’re ready to break the self-defeating patterns of love addiction, Rio Retreat Center is here to assist you. Our five-day Love Addiction/Love Avoidance workshop can help you stop the destructive cycle of love addiction, embrace self-love, and find intimacy with healthy boundaries.

Additionally, we offer various other workshops that tackle issues related to emotional trauma, relationships, personal growth, and professional development. Contact us to explore options or register for one that best fits your needs today.