Some losses are clear, society recognizes them as significant and we have rituals to mourn them. We feel free to ask for support and more often, support comes our way without our even having to ask. But the kinds of losses that are a part of addiction and dysfunction, all too often remain disenfranchised. These losses can lack visibility and clarity, they are hidden and oftentimes remain unseen or misread by others. And there can be confusion as to exactly who or what has been lost, or whether there is a loss at all.

However, not only do they hurt as much, the very fact that they remain buried, unrecognized and unsupported, can complicate mourning and block our process of grieving. These kinds of losses deserve respect, they need our compassion and care. Grieving these kinds of losses can bring about change on the inside that leads to change on the outside. Mourning a loss of a connection to self, to someone significant, to a period of life, to addiction and/or dysfunction can be freeing and restoring. It can let us feel whole again having processed our splintered or buried inner experience and bringing it to comfortable closure.

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